Sharing magical birthing moments!

OK – I want to do my bit to counteract the fear-mongering damage done by that ruddy show One Born Every Minute.  So here’s my idea…..

I would LOVE it if everyone (Men and Women!) would add a little comment to this post, just sharing something positive about their experience of pregnancy, birth and parenting.

To get the ball rolling I’m going to share some of the most amazing things that will be with me for the rest of my life, that seem to be against the common grain.  However, I know after speaking to many people that they’re not as unusual as one would think, but it seems negative people often shout a little louder than people who are contented and peaceful.

When I was in labour (both times) I didn’t want to shout and swear at my husband, I wanted to snog his face off.  This makes much more sense all round as it helps you to relax and release some lovely hormones which ease the birth process along.  As Ina May Gaskin says, (and I paraphrase, as I can’t be bothered to get off my bum to find the book to quote, so I apologise!) loving got the baby in, so loving shall get the baby out!

Birthing the placenta is like the most satisfying poo you will ever do, so look forward to it!  No doubt you’ll be a bit knackered, but don’t worry about it beforehand.  Just know that you don’t have to do it all over again, a little nudge when your body is ready and thwallop-aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

People experience the sensations of labour differently.  There are many factors that affect this and I believe preparation is a massive part of this.  If you prepare your mind POSITIVELY beforehand (I used HypnoBirthing – The Mongan Method®) you will not necessarily experience it as pain.  Early labour for me felt wonderful, a real natural high.  My skin was tingly – like being tickled really gently and getting goosebumps, but with a deep warm sensation inside my body as it did its work to help the babies emerge.  You can really allow yourself to experience pleasure!

So please have a think about your experiences and even if they weren’t exactly what you hoped/planned for, focus on the small moments that you can look back on with fondness and let that be what you share with other women.  By helping to change expectations one mindful comment at a time, we do our fellow men, women and children a great service.

Thank you for participating!

Blessed Be x

2 Comments »

  1. Jen Said:

    Both of my amazing home waterbirths were memorable for many reasons – some joys repeated themselves second time around, and some pleasures remain a fond memory attached to one individual birth:

    When in labour with my first son I enjoyed a HUGE sense of achievement, not just at the point of birth but when I learnt that my ‘focused calmness’ had taken me from hardly effaced at all to 9cm dilated in less than two hours. From that point on I felt a great sense of ownership and pride in the beautiful process in which I was partaking.
    Sensations of love and warmth, both physical and emotional washed over me like waves throughout my labour, and I found huge pleasure in allowing myself to become one with the rhythms of my body. I basically experienced the most amazing orgasm before birthing my son’s head. Yup.

    Humour played a significant role in both of my labours, and I have enjoyed musing on this ever since. It seems to me that, for better or worse, during labour the real core and crux of what a relationship is built on can be exposed – I think this was certainly the case for me and my husband, a delicious mixture of humour and sexual energy were present throughout, reflecting the bare bones of what first attracted us to each other. How beautiful to be reminded of this as we were bringing the very fruits of this love into being.

    My second homebirth was, quite frankly, a laughter marathon – I like to think I’m pretty funny when uninhibited by the various social phobias which plague me – and uninhibited I certainly was, swimming naked in my own living room and cracking some well timed funnies, me, my husband and best friend/doula forming a comedic trio which will go down in history.

    I was quietly confident about my second birth, but it reached new heights of beauty and relaxation, what with music, candles and the presence of my best friend as doula/companion. What was a beautiful family bonding experience also cemented our friendship to new levels of sisterhood and trust. For this I will always be grateful.
    I also had a fantastic midwife who seemed to tune in immediately to my mindset – she literally hid herself away, falling asleep on my armchair out of my eyeline, and when it came to delivering, I delivered by myself, retreating into my own space within the pool and having the joy and privelege of telling everyone ELSE in the room at the exact moment he arrived, and feel the sweet ownership of the moment of birth.

    Oh, I could go on forever about positive birth and motherhood. Maybe I’ll come back and post about being a mummy!

    • blessedbirth Said:

      Blub blub! Beautiful. Love the mention of the internalised stuff too. It’s fab the way the birth experience can be shared, but so amazing also how personal it can be too. Please do come back and share more!

      I think it’s important to mention that even if the birth story doesn’t always pan out exactly to plan, focusing on those moments of achievement and strength and in feeling empowered to make your own choices will make a massive difference to how you feel about it afterwards.

      My births were ideal for me and for the individual children born (As it is as much their journey as it is the parents’) although they were not without challenges. But it is those challenges that demonstrated the strength of the relationship and characters of my husband and I and left us knowing that we did the very best we could. It is that that gives us such a sense of satisfaction with our experiences, not that they were ‘perfect’ births.


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